The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
where are my eyebrows?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
