I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
