I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize