He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
