i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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