i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
