Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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