I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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