I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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