i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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