Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
