try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
