ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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