hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
