After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
