Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
