I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize