Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
