ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Bring me that man meat
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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