I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
