well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
