Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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