Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
