Only a mothe r could love this liver
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
