how can u be prego again
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
