Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
