Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
