Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
They took my balls.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
