I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
