why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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