I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This baby is an asshole
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
