Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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