i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
