Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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