Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize