Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i out mim tonsoeep
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