we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
