Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
