I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
