Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
