The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
