I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Is it penis luge time yet?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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