woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
