that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
