Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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