He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
