she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
