I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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