the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
