His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
