I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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