lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
