Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
