I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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