She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
