he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
