i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sponge bath it is.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
be right there i have to get my cape
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
