You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
