Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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