Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
