hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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