Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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