dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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