i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize