when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize