HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
