There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
worst night to have a conscience
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Randomize
